Thursday, July 9, 2009

I will find a way

I was having my 4 month ultra sound done when the Dr looked at me and said " I think there is something wrong". My heart dropped to the floor and been brave asked what is wrong, She might not be able to move from the waist down and needed to do an intensive ultra sound to be done. Did all the ultra sounds and it all confirmed it. I cried and cried but knew I had to be strong her her. Getting to know all that was to be known about Caudal Regression Syndrome (CRS) and accepting the worse. Thinking of how I am going to do this, having a son who has autism and having a baby with CRS. When I looked at the monitor and just seeing her knew I can do this. Scared out of my mind of not knowing what will happen. But when she was born, nothing seemed to matter. Seeing her face for the first time, I knew I can do this.

When she came home, my son was a big brother and keeping a watchful eye on her all the time. I wanted to do everything for her, did not want her to feel any pain. But I knew I had to think with my head and not just my heart. Sitting in front of her and waited for her to figure a way she has to move to get to me, was the best thing ever. She worked her way to me and I saw that joy in her face of "I did it". That gave me the courage to let her find her way to do things. And today she has she has such a will power to do things her way, does not like to be helped unless she ask for it. And she loves her freedom of moving with her cool wheelchair.

I am happy she is who she is and she is not her disability

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